Do you use the internet for long distance romance - sending eMails to Japan when you should getting on with your work?  Do you love to go to exotic foreign shores to seek holiday romance?

If you do then there's a good chance that you use online translators to impress your victims with your wonderful command of their language. Well beware!!! What you say or write will probably not be what you think!!!

For your benefit I have translated some common phrases into other languages and then back into English so as to find out what was actually said. 

Using www.babelfish.altavista.com/ 

"Can you take my mother to the railway station please." gives the following: 

English - Chinese - English

Can you get a light from another light the station mine mother belt to invite.

English - Korean - English
It will have my mother please in the railroad railroad station which it spreads out and there is a possibility where it will go. 


English - Korean - English
You can please make examination of my mother to the station railway. 

English - French - German - English
Know you you my nut/mother at the station carry please.

English - French - English
Can you please carry my mother to the station.


English - German - English
Can you my nut/mother to the station please take.


English - French - German - French - English
You can my mother at the station go please. 


English - Italian - English
You can take I pray my mother to the railway station.


English - Japanese - English
To the station can keep accompanying my mother. 


English - Spanish - English
You can take to my mother to the railroad please. 

Using www.worldlingo.com

My wife has taken a heart attack please take her to the hospital. becomes:-

English - Japanese - Korean - English

My wife heart arrest unit one had her which it maintains inside the hospital and it went.

English - Italian - English

My moglie has taken a heart attack prays takes it to the hospital.

English - Greek - English

The spouse to me has taken a attack of hearts requests him takes in the hospital.

English – Chinese - English

My wife adopted heart attack please to bring her to the hospital.

English - Dutch - English

My woman a heart attack her has taken to the hospital please to take.

English - French - English

My wife took a heart attack please carry it to the hospital.

English - German - English

My wife took a heart attack to take it please to the hospital.

English - Korean - English

My wife had her which takes away a heart attack in the hospital and it went.

English - Japanese - English

My wife took her who keeps accompanying the heart seizure in the hospital.

English - Portuguese - English

My wife fêz examination of an attack cardiopath please makes examination of it to the hospital.

English - Russian - English

My of husband assumed infarcht if you please assumes it to the hospital.

English - Spanish - English

My wife has taken an attack from the heart takes it please to the hospital.

English - Greek – Russian - English

Spouse to me assumed the attack of hearts it asks his takings in the hospital.

English - Russian – Portuguese  - English

Mine of the husband supos infarcht if you please assumed it to the hospital.

Using www.worldlingo.com

Hello gorgeous, how about coming back to my place for a coffee?    becomes:-

English - Chinese - English

Does your good sex appeal, how come back to my place is the coffee?

English – German - English

Are you quite gorgeous, how come back to my place are the coffee?

English - Dutch - English

Hello sexy, how concerning returning to my place for a coffee?

English - French - English

Hello sexy, that would you say to return to my place for a coffee?

English - Greek - English

Geja'soy provocative, how for the return in my place for coffee?

English - Russian - English

To zdravstvulte! gorgeous as about come back to my place for the the kofeyego?