Really Useful
Gadgets
We live in a rapidly
changing world where we are continually subjected to the latest
fads in gadgetry. At work and at home we suffer from the constant
change in technology.
For instance it's only a
few months ago when we were sent reeling with the release of mobile 3G. Now
talks of telecoms giant
o2
developing an even faster Internet connectivity service for their upcoming
wonder mobile phone are already circulating the 'net!
Often we feel as if our life is incomplete unless we
have the very latest innovation in computer, television, mobile phones,
scooters – yet all of these devices are totally useless adding nothing
to the quality of our lives. Thankfully there have been some worthwhile
inventions which are able to make life so much more enjoyable. Here are
the best of these inventions.
The ‘Please
Don’t Smoke’ Ashtray
Patent : GB2251542
Date : 1992
Inventor:
Chung Wan Ping
This
ingenious ashtray senses when you are about to light-up and gently reminds
you with a pleasant message
that ‘smoking can damage your health.’ The inventor claims that
‘No-Smoking warning signs yield little result. Because these static
warning signs have been regarded as empty words by those people who are
addicted to tobaccos.’ He does, however, expect his talking ashtray to
be taken seriously by even the hardened chain smokers. Unfortunately it is
not clear from the patent whether the ashtray is tough enough to survive
being smashed with a hammer by an irate addict.
The Incy-Wincy Spider Liberator
Patent : GB2272154
Date : 1994
Inventor:
Doughney Edward Thomas Patrick
We
all know that feeling of great sadness when we find a dead spider floating
beside the rubber duck in our bathwater. We would, of course, much rather
it hadn’t meet it’s gruesome end in the bath and was roaming free,
enjoying the good life and sharing our cosy bed. Well, now we can do
something to stop these lovable little creatures from becoming trapped in
our baths by installing the ‘Spider Ladder. With this device installed
any spider that happens to fall into the bath it will look around, see the
ladder and climb safely to freedom. The spiders of the world will love you
for fitting this one.
The
Male Chastity Belt
Patent : 875845
Date : 1907
Inventor:
E. E. Perkins
Every married woman
worries when she has to away for a few days and leave her husband to cope,
alone, at home. Will he sleep in and miss an important meeting? Will he
get enough to eat? Will he shag that brazen hussy next door? Now with the
‘Male Chastity Belt’ her worries are over. As an added bonus she can
delight in the knowledge that the belt is actually beneficial to her
husband for this is much more than a chastity belt. In the words of the
inventor it’s a ‘Device to prevent insanity, imbecility and
feeblemindedness.’ Who’s sanity?
The Gravity
Powered Shoe Air-Conditioner
Patent : US5375430 Date : 1993
Inventor:
Israel
Siegel
Do your feet sweat so
badly that even your dog avoids you? With the ‘Gravity Powered Shoe
Air-Conditioner’ this can be a thing of the past for it will keep your
feet at an ideal temperature. Incorporated inside the heel is a
compressor-expander which is
powered by ’gravity pressures’ placed upon the shoe when you walk. A
network of heat exchangers, containing a low boiling point liquid,
transfer this energy to the soles of the shoes and, depending on you’re
mood, you can heat or cool your feet. Just be
careful
you don’t walk so fast that you get frostbite.
Santa Claus Detector
Patent : US5523741 Date : 1996
Inventor:
Thomas
Cane
With this wonderful gadget
your children need never miss Santa Claus again. Hang the stockings over the fireplace and it will detect
Santa the moment he emerges from the chimney. When the chubby chap is
detected lights on the stocking will flash heralding his arrival. For the
more cynical minded the lights can be replaced by a double-barrelled
shotgun.
Combined Bird Trap and Cat Feeder
Patent : US4150505 Date : 1979
Inventor:
;; Leo
O. Voelker
Too lazy to feed the cat?
Here is the perfect solution which will provide your cat with all the food
it needs and at the same time depopulate your whole neighbourhood of those
pesky robins, wrens and sparrows. The device works by enticing little song
birds into a welcoming, homely, birdhouse. Once inside they step onto the
pivoted stand and are ejected down the shoot into the lower section where
they remain trapped until puss is ready for his lunch. You will
never need to open a can of cat food again in your life.
Object-Dispensing
Wearing Apparel
Patent : US
4,120,053 Date : 1978
Inventor:
Frank
Nemirofsky
Be a big hit with all your
friends and make a fortune in the process. This simple device protrudes
discretely from your t-shirt and can dispense chewing gum, cigarettes or
even condoms. A slit at the top of the device is provided to collect coins
in payment for the goods. The inventor sees it as a way fostering the
entrepreneurial spirit in youngsters – he suggests ‘Children can use the garment to obtain a sense of
business-like appreciation for
selling items and the value put on the sales.’
Before
long no self respecting school kid will leave the house without one.
The Ultimate Weight Lose Program
Patent : US
4,133,315 Date : 1979
Inventor:
Edward
J. Berman et al.
Do you have a problem with obesity and just don’t have the
willpower to stick to a diet. Do so called diet pills just cause you to
put on even more weight. This ‘METHOD
AND APPARATUS FOR REDUCING OBESITY’ will make you slim and trim in no
time. Aimed at reducing the desire for food the device is
an inflatable elastomeric bag
which partially fills the stomach so as to produce the sensation of being
"filled- up." Figure 3 shows the bag in position within the
stomach. Figure 6 shows how the bag is filled with air, water or other
liquid via a tube inserted through the nasal cavity.
Brining
the Dead Back to Life
Patent : US465,548
Date 1891
Inventor:
; William
H. White
With this wonderful
invention you need never again lie awake at night in fear of being buried
alive. All too frequently perfectly healthy people are buried alive just
because they overslept for a day or two. Now, if this should happen to
you, you don’t have to die a lonely, confused death six foot under. In
the words of the inventor, ‘The object of my invention is to provide a
means whereby the supposed cadaver (buried before life is extinct) on
regaining animation may sound an alarm through the annunciator located at
the superintendent's office or other suitable place, by which a signal of
life may be imparted and also immediate rescue rendered to the
recuperating body by means of fresh air until the said body is disinterred
and medical aid summoned.’
Pat On The Back Apparatus
Patent : US4,608,967
Date 1986
Inventor:
; Ralph
R. Piro
This
invention is useful for providing a self-administered pat-on-the-back or a
congratulatory gesture providing, in the words of the inventor ‘ a
needed psychological lift.’ He
suggests, ‘ . . . the device of the present invention may also be
utilized to impart significant psychological benefits to the user. In this
connection, it is well known in the art and practice of self-administered
positive reinforcement activity that various techniques can be
successfully employed to extol the virtues of one's actions and thoughts.
For example, it has been reported that many wealthy and successful
individuals engage in conversations with themselves, that is, they talk to
themselves. Such an activity is understandable in view of the often small
populace of self-motivated individuals and in view of the large volume of
self-defeatist conversation known to emanate from those of low self
esteem’ So, go on, you owe it to yourself – buy one and give yourself
a pat on the back for doing so.