Shoppers Dictionary Humour and Jokes 

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Shopper's Dictionary

Bank Balance: A negative integer that increases hourly.

Shopping Mall: A glimpse of heaven in Versace and Armani.

Shoe: Something that occasionally comes in pairs but more usually in eights.

Handbag: A status symbol that contains a microcosm of chaos.

Loyalty Card: A method a shop uses to persuade shoppers to only shop with them. Every woman is loyal to at least fifty shops.

Changing Room: An area of a shop set aside to allow you to try on things that you wouldn’t dare wear and those outfits which are way beyond your budget.

Cash Register: A device that calculates the cost of your purchases and tells you that it is five times greater than you expected.

Sales Assistant: A person who asks if she can help you then doesn’t. 

Cash: A tradable substance which unfortunately quickly evaporates from a woman’s purse.

Credit Card: A method of paying which lets you buy today – cry tomorrow.


Copyright Stuart Macfarlane

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