How to tell if your spouse is an armchair football addict:-
Persistently, in numerous obscure languages, four T.V.s
simultaneously blast out games from around the world.
The wallpaper has long since been replaced by footy posters.
All the furniture has been painted in his team colours.
All essentials are within arms reach of the chair – fridge
for beer, TV and video controllers, wardrobe full of team scarves and
strips and of course the microwave for the half time pies.
He suffers panic attacks when he needs to leave his chair
for even a moment.
The last time he moved from the armchair was shortly after
the 1994 cup final.
He
has an armchair season ticket.
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