I wouldn’t say the referee was bad but:
In despair, several players sent themselves
off.
He scored more goals than the players.
He was substituted at half time
Even his parents shouted abuse.
He was disowned by the League for the Blind.
I wouldn’t say the referee was strict but:
He showed so many cards he got a Royal Flush
Even the crowd were frightened to move.
He ‘red carded’ four players, two ball
boys, a linesman and a dog that wandered onto the pitch.
He produced so many cards the crowd thought
he was a magician.
For the final ten minutes he was the only
person left on the pitch.
He even ‘red carded’ himself.
I wouldn’t say the referee is short
sighted but:
From time to time he has to stop and ask
directions.
He is sponsored by the Opticians Guild.
Bats make jokes about him.
The names on the players’ shirts are
written in Braille.
He insists that floodlights are used even on
sunny days.
He once tried to book the corner flag.
He
uses a grandfather clock to time the game.
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