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Emoticon Rhetoric  

:-)--- \<         I really fancy you.

:-(---/<         I really fancy you but have had eight pints.

 :-)=x<         I don’t fancy you at all – I’m a eunuch.

(  v  )             I work on a building site.

 ) , (             Size doesn’t matter.

 ) ! (             Size does matter.

)  v  (       I’m a virgin.  

) x  (        I’m an ex-virgin.

69                        Let’s have kinky sex.

96                 Let’s not have kinky sex ‘cos I’m not speaking to you.  

99                  Let’s have a cone instead of kinky sex.

696969          Let’s invite some others to have kinky sex.

 :-)oO<           I’m pregnant

:-)o8<             It’s twins!

;-#o< . - *        I’ve just vomited all over the floor.

;-)-SXY<          You have a very sexy body.

:+}-o’<             Your fly’s undone.

?;+)                You are of questionable intelligence

£:-(               My head’s pounding.

=:-(              I’m having a bad hair day.

;-£                    Put you money where your mouth is!

<]:^)               Stop clowning around.

<|:~,          You are an evil Witch.

.-)               They used to call me Lucky.

:-@                  You make me want to scream.

~:o                        You’re such a big baby.

:-}-8=<     I’m delighted with the results of

                 my silicon implants.

:-{-%=<        I’m very unhappy with the results of 

                  my silicon implants.

 :-{}       Do you think I’m wearing too much lipstick?

(:  (=       You’re looking quite ghostly today.

  :-o ^^^^;       Ouch - I’ve got my thingy caught in my zip.

$:-} B   >                      I’m a female prostitute.

$:-) :   8-                     I’m a male prostitute.

:-) :   8-...                   I’m just taking a leak.

(:-)     ?                      I’ve had a sex change.

*:-} 8   8-                     I’m a transvestite.

:-)  :-(  :-)  :-(    I’m a manic-depressive.

O:-)                     I’m a little Angel.

NO:-)          I’m no Angel.

@:-}                     Do you like my new hairdo?

;+)-8o{====                Is my mini skirt too short?

;-(?)                   Do you fancy a blowjob?

; &[}                   Yes - I do work at a nuclear test site. 

                          How did you know?  

Extracts from UWOT!? by Stuart MacLean

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Copyright Stuart McLean. If you wish to use these quotes anywhere please request permission from copyright@Q30.net

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