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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of your mums so dumb jokes and other funny jokes |
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Dumb People Joke
Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Playoffs? A: The Dallas CowboysQ: How many players did the Cowboys dress for their last game? A: 22. The rest dressed themselves. Q: What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern? A: Does bail money count against the salary cap?Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? A: A huddle. Q: Four Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving? A: The police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore? A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known Felons. I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator and now they want a coke machine. The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on 'grass'. The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new 'Honor System'. Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor. The Cowboys had a 8 and 8 season this year. 8 arrests, 8 convictions. The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator; Johnny Cochran. Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby? A: Eventually the baby stops whining. A woman in Dallas calls911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her 'Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences and enjoying every minute of it, when an old friend of the contractor came up. 'I'm sorry, Mary, for your trouble, ' offered the friend. 'Did Mike leave you well fixed?' 'Oh, he did!' she said. 'He left me almost a half million dollars. ' 'Well now, That's not bad for a man who couldn't read or write. ' 'Nor swim either, ' added the widow.
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Animal Joke
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: 'What does the cow say?'Child: 'Moo!'Mother: 'Great! What does the cat say?'Child: 'Meow. 'Mother: 'Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?' And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, 'Bud. '
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Bar Joke - 2
I was having coffee at the golf course when I saw a large amount of black sediment in the bottom of the cup. So I called the grounds keeper. My church accepts any denomination. But they prefer tens and twenties. Q: What kind of engine do they use in golf carts?A: Fore cyclinder. I say a dermatologist about a nasty red patch on my skin. I asked it would get better, but he said he didn't want to make any rash promises. An univeristy student fell in love, and dropped out of school to marry her young love. She wrote to her parents to say that she had put the heart before the course. I witnessed a robbery in a fabric factory and immediately called the police. They caught the culprit and held me as a material witness. Support your right to bare arms! Wear short sleeves!When a ladder was stolen from a store, the manager said that further steps would be taken. People who talk about false gods are engaged in idol gossip. A good carpenter will do his work and then varnish without a trace.
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Naughty Joke
A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. 'Back ladies, back!' cried the leader. 'There's a very dangerous beast out there!'But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing. 'Well, err. . . . if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration. . . yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!''WOW!' exclaimed the oldest of the group. 'I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!'
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Political Joke
Proof That Jesus Was Jewish:1. He went into his father's business. 2. He lived at home until the age of 33. 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God. Proof That Jesus Was Irish:1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. Proof That Jesus Was Puerto Rican:1. His first name was Jesus. 2. He was bilingual. 3. He was always being harassed by the authorities. Proof That Jesus Was Italian:1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He worked in the building trades. Proof that Jesus Was a Californian:1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot. 3. He invented a new religion and finallyProof that Jesus Was Black:1. He called everybody brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Heart Attacks . . . God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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Elephant Joke
How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ? Try picking them up !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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