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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of yo sista jokes and other funny jokes |
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Travel and tourist Joke
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. 'I can't stand this, ' said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. 'Hold it, hold it, ' he said to the men. 'Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?' 'Well, we work for the county government, ' one of the men said. 'But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Are n't you wasting the county's money?' 'You don't understand, mister, ' one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. 'Normally there's three of us--me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. ' 'Yea, ' piped up Mike. 'Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean we can't work, does it?'
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Hair and bald Joke
I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.
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Joke for Halloween
The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around. He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz. . . down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, 'I'm a dove and I've been loved!'The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, 'I'm a Lark and I've been sparked'The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off. The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says 'I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!'
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.
She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
'That's a nice flock of sheep. ', she said.
'Well thank you. ', said the herder. 'Tell you what. I have a proposition for you. ', said the woman.
'Okay. ', replied the herder.
'If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?', asked the woman. 'Sure. ', said the sheepherder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, '382'.
'Wow. ', said the herder. 'That is exactly right.
Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home. '
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, 'Okay, now I have a proposition for you'.
'What is it?', queried the woman.
'If I can guess the real color of your hair. . . can I have my dog back?'
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Firefighter Joke
Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A. Hosea and Hoseb
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Dumb Men Joke
What a woman says: 'This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!' What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now !
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Bar Joke - 1
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, 'If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?' The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, 'If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?' The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $'100
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Letter Joke
Betty was scribbling industriously over some paper with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing. 'I'm not drawing, Mom, ' she said indignantly, 'I'm writing a letter to Fred. ' 'But you can't write, ' Mom pointed out. 'That's all right, ' said Betty, 'Fred can't read. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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