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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of yo father jokes and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 1
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues of his new hearing aid. 'It's marvelous, ' he enthused to a friend. 'Since I acquired it I can hear the birds chirping on the hearth. I can also hear clearly a conversation being held in an apartment a full block away!''You don't say, ' said his friend. 'What kind is it?'The proud owner consulted his wristwatch and answered, 'Twenty minutes after two. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. 'Doctor, ' says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. 'Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?' 'I don't see why not, ' replies the doctor. 'That's funny, ' says the man. 'I wasn't able to play it before. '
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Parent Joke
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: 'That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. ' In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. 'The bus driver insulted me, ' she fumed. The man sympathized and said: 'Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers. ' 'You're right, ' she said. 'I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind. ' 'That's a good idea, ' the man said. 'Here, let me hold your monkey. '
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Dumb Men Joke
What's a man's idea of foreplay? -A half-hour of begging.
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Mental health Joke
A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo. 'I'm worried about my husband, doctor, ' she said. 'He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! '
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Bar Joke - 1
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: 'Drinks for all on me including you, bartender. ' So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: 'That will be $36. 50 please. ' The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. 'What, no drink for me?' replies the bartender. 'Oh, no. You get violent when you drink. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Save Your Breath . . . You'll need it to blow up your date!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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