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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of writing stand up comedy and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
What is a wedding tragedy?To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!
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Dumb Joke
486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P. C. state - of - the - art computer you can't afford. Obsolete - Any computer you own. Microsecond - The time it takes for your State - of - the - art computer to become obsolete. Syntax Error - 'Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object. GUI (pronounced 'gooey') - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming. Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. Hard Drive- The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen. Portable Computer - A device invented to force business men to work at home, on vacation and on business trips. Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline. Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.
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Doctor Joke
David: My wife beats me, doctor. Doctor: Oh dear. How often?David: Every time we play Scrabble!
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Frog Joke
Why doesnt Kermit like elephants? They always want to play leap-frog with him.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged
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Bumper Stickers - 7
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mamma is so fat when a bus hit her she said who threw the pebble.
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Redneck Joke
An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name. 'Penis van Lesbian, ' the man replied proudly. 'Well, ' said the director, 'we'll have to change that. ''Oh, ' the young man said, 'I could never change my name. It's my heritage. ''Well, ' said the director, 'if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business. 'The young man left the theater dejectedly. A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street. 'Do you remember me, ' asked the young man?'Yes, I do, ' said the director. 'I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to. ''Well, I finally took your advice, ' the young man said. 'I changed my name and I have been quite successful in show business ever since. ''I told you so, ' the director replied. 'And what name did you choose, Mr. van Lesbian?''Dick van Dyke. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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