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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of womanizer parody and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes
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Birthday Joke
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
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Bar Joke - 2
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, 'I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket. 'The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, 'I've got a better idea. . . let's pretend we're married. ''Why not, ' giggles the woman. 'Good, ' he replies. 'Get your own damn blanket!'
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Monster Joke
What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes? Prankenstein!
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Priceless Joke
It's Colonel Smith's first day at a new base in Saudi Arabia, and the company clerk is showing him around the camp. They tour the entire base and the clerk shows him around and points out every building of interest. At the end of the tour, the Colonel says, 'What about that little stable over there? What's that for?''Well, ' says the clerk, and looks at the ground in embarassment, 'you may have noticed there aren't any women on the base. You see, we keep a camel in that there stable, so that when the men get their urges they can --'The Colonel holds up his hand, shakes his head and cuts off the clerk midsentence. 'PLEASE! Say no more. I get the point. 'Well, as you can imagine, after a few weeks on the base the Colonel too felt the need for a woman, and so he found himself at the clerk's desk one Saturday afternoon. 'Tell me, ' the Colonel said in a whisper, looking over his shoulder to be sure no one else could hear, 'is the camel free this afternoon?'The clerk checks his appointment book and nods in the affirmative. 'How about I schedule you in for 2:00?'The Colonel nods and walks away. At 2:00 he makes his way to the stable, walks in, and gently closes the door behind him. He finds a small stepping stool nearby, moves it behind the camel, and climbs onto it. Then he lowers his trousers, and begins, well, making love to the camel. Just as he's nearing his peak, the door opens suddenly and the Colonel spins around in shock and embarrassment to see the clerk standing there with a big grin on his face. As the Colonel begins to yell for him to leave, the clerk interrupts him with a quizzical look on his face. 'Begging your pardon, sir, but wouldn't it have been simpler for you to just ride the camel into town to find a woman, like the other men do?'
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Legal Humor
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?Professional courtesy.
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Bus Joke
Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.
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School Joke
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
'I would do anything to pass this exam. ' She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. 'I mean. . . ' she whispers, '. . . I would do. . . anything. '
He returns her gaze. 'Anything?'
'Anything. '
His voice softens. 'Anything??'
'Absolutely anything. '
His voice turns to a whisper. 'Would you. . . study?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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