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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of witty birthday card messages and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, 'All right, Who's the other father!?!'
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Computer Joke
10. ) Computers have 'help' text when you get confused.
9. ) When you get tired of a computer, you can shut it off.
8. ) Your friends will always tell you, you could have a better one.
7. ) Booting is not a punishable offense.
6. ) You can get upgrades without going to a plastic surgeon.
5. ) 'Cheap' and 'Fast' are good attributes in a computer.
4. ) Nobody stares if you finger a computer in your office.
3. ) A computer doesn't get mad if you play with someone else's computer.
2. ) It only takes a couple of seconds to turn one on. AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON. . . . . . . . . .
1. ) Computers will take a 3-1/2 floppy & be happy about it.
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Marriage Joke
Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
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Bar Joke - 2
Two robins were sitting in a tree. 'I'm really hungry, ' said the first one. ' Me, too' said the second. 'Let's fly down and find some lunch. 'They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. 'I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree, ' said the first one. 'Me either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun, ' said the second. 'O. K. ' said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up. As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought. . . >>>>>>>>>>>> are you ready for this. . . >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> . . . 'I just love baskin' robins!'
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Bird Joke
Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!
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Birthday Joke
Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!
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Insect Joke
What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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