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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of windows weird maker and other funny jokes |
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Totally Strange Humor
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, 'Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem. ' Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, 'Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. 'So, take your time and have some fun, ' the farmer ended with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy is in there. Later, the farmer sees Randy after the flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard and buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, 'Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself. ' Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, 'SHHHH, they're getting closer. . . '
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Simple Joke
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and NobodyThis is a story about four people named Everbody, Somebody, Anybodyand Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody wassure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, butNobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobodyrealized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everbodyblamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
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Sporting Joke
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, 'No pets allowed. ' The man replied. 'This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see. ' The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turns on the game. The guy says, 'Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips. ' The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. 'Wow! That's one helluva dog you got there! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?' The man replied, 'I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years!'
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Bar Joke - 2
Q: Name two words that have no meaning. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente.
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Journalist Joke
How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.
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Love and Marriage Joke
A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: 'You're what?!?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beryl ! Beryl who ? Beryl of beer !
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Joke for Kids
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say 'If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass. ' They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and the is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask 'Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car. 'He says 'I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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