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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of west midlands fun run and other funny jokes |
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Satire Joke
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg. The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog. A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, 'You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!'. The blind man retorted, 'I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass'.
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Criminal Joke
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith. The big guy who actually is a nice guy extends his and says my name is Turner Brown. The geek passes out. The big guy fans him and brings him too. Why did you pass out he asked? The geek replies, what did you say your name was? Turner Brown he replies. Oh God the geek says I thought you said 'TURN AROUND'.
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Idiot and fool Joke
Jim sees his neighbor out back building a bunker, loading in 75 gallons of bottled water, hauling in a gas generator and so on. 'So, uh, I guess you believe Y2K is a biggie huh?' 'Naw', says the neighbor. 'Ah's jes' stockin' the bunker now, 'cuz if I did it any other time, people'd think ah's nuts. '
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Sport Joke
Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
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Festival Joke
1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, 'See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing. '2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, 'I'm thankful I didn't get caught' and refuse to say anything more. 3. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your 'shake' back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake 4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one leave or eat until you have finished the speech. 5. Bring along old recorded football games and pop them in the VCR when dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room, turn off the VCR, and then turn on the regular TV. 6. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October '21
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Animal Joke
This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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