|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of weird wedding gifts and other funny jokes |
|
Marriage Joke
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife,
'When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones. '
Wife, 'No, I can't marry anyone after you. '
Johnson, 'But I want you to. '
Wife, 'But why?'
Johnson, 'Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Book title Joke
Losing an Electric Drill by Andy Gadget
= = = = = = = = = =
Aviation Joke
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the 'Fasten Seat Belts' sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it. 'Well, ' she explained, 'up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. 'In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?'
= = = = = = = = = =
Idiot and fool Joke
How do Alaska CB radio operators say '10-4'? '5-5-2-2. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Humor Joke
Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would they?
= = = = = = = = = =
Firefighter Joke
All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They're even 'fast' asleep!
= = = = = = = = = =
Food and Drink Joke
M&M's: The Theory of EvolutionWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser, ' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U. S. A. , along with a 3x5 card reading, 'Please use this M&M for breeding purposes. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Religious Joke
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, 'Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?' The missionary says, 'Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop. ' Not paying much attetion, the man says, 'Sure, ok. ' So he gets on the horse and says, 'Thank God' and the horse starts walking. Then he says, 'Thank God, thank God, ' and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, 'Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God' and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. 'Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!' Finally he remembers, 'Amen!!' The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, 'Thank God. '
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
