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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird wedding favors and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
iF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE TAKE A HIKE!
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Blonde Joke - 2
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, 'Ready . . . Aim . . . 'Suddenly the brunette yells, 'Earthquake!!' Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, 'Ready . . . Aim . . . 'The redhead then screams, 'Tornado!!'Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, 'Ready . . . Aim . . . ' The blonde shouts, 'Fire!!'
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Simple Joke
We have a tree in our yard, terribly bothered by blight. We sought professional help and had a tree surgeon come to look at it. In his assessment, he noted that the blight was bad, but he was even more concerned with the deep cracks in the bark. 'In fact, ' he said, 'This tree's bark is worse than its blight!'
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Celebrities Joke
More Jesse news. . . Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to thepopulation for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation, and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation, denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, whichwould require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation. Sincerely, The Rev. Jesse Jackson
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Elephant Joke
An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, 'Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!'
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Monster Joke
On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. 'I hope this spaceship doesn't travel faster than sound. 'Why?' replies the cabin steward. 'Because my friend and I want to talk, That's why. '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October '21
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Funniest Joke
PROOF THAT BILL GATES IS THE ANTICHRISTConversion to ASCII values:MS-DOS 6. 2177 83 45 68 79 83 32 54 46 50 49 = 666WINDOWS9587 73 78 68 79 87 83 57 53 1 = 666SYSTEM 7. 083 89 83 84 69 77 32 55 46 48 = 666Coincidence? I think not!The real name of the Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following:B 66I 73L 76L 76G 71A 65T 84E 69S 833-------666!!!!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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