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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird teapots and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 1
A man and his son were shovelling the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted angrily: 'Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!' The dog charged happily back over to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus stop. 'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?' she asked.
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School Joke for Kids
One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearsegoing down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by aman walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse andasked who was in the first one. 'My wife, ' the man replied. 'I'm sorry, ' said Dave. 'What happened to her?''My dog bit her and she died. 'Dave was taken aback. 'And who's in the second hearse?''My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well. 'Dave asked, 'Can I borrow your dog?''Get in line. '
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Ghost Joke
What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt.
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Dog Joke - 2
Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head? The tomato was in a can.
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Teeth Joke
What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !
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Frog Joke
Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!
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Spiked Humor
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in an office: 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left. ' Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' Sign on music teachers' door: 'Out Chopin. ' Sign at the electic company: 'We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. ' Sign in beauty shop window: 'Dye now!' Sign on a garbage truck: 'We've got what it takes to take what you've got. ' Sign at a computer store: 'Out for a quick byte. ' Sign on restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up. ' Sign in a bowling alley: 'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. '
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Baby Joke
Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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