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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird maker lord of the rings and other funny jokes |
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American Joke
A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, 'will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city. '
'Well Mr. Mayor,' the man said in a firm voice. 'I voted against you in the last election. '
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Funny Joke Online
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?A: Proof reading.
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Love and Marriage Joke
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, 'You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' 'Why?' 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere. '
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Silliest Joke
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal. 'Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: 'Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?'
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Food Joke
About 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.
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Naughty Joke
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they're done, he said, 'I'm afraid myFinnish isn't too good. 'The hooker replied, 'Your foreplay ain't allthat hot either. '
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Doctor Joke
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, 'High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family. '
'Your mother's side or your father's?' I asked.
'Neither,' he replied. 'It's from my wife's family. '
'Oh, come now,' I said. 'How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?'
He sighed. 'You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!'
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Bizarre Joke
After having their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that that was enough. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor told the man that he was to go home, get a cherry bomb, put it in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Arky said to the doctor 'I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a can next to my ear is going to help me. 'So the couple drove to Missouri to get a second opinion. The doctor was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed they were from Arkansas. This doctor also told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, place it in a tin can, hold it next to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, ''1
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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