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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird maker and other funny jokes |
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Banana Joke
Knock Knock Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ? Banana split so ice creamed !
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Joke of the Day
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. 'Oh, it's nothing to worry about' says the caretaker. 'He's just decomposing!'
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Stupid Blonde Joke
How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Women Joke
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her in the butt!
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Computer Joke
Me: 'What is that noise?' Customer: 'Hey Martinez!! I'm on the phone! Cut it out!' Me: 'What was that?' Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: 'It's from a device. ' Me: 'What kind of device?' Customer: 'I don't know. ' Me: 'Like a fax machine or something?' Customer: 'I don't know. Someone is under house arrest or something. '
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Naughty Joke
Man to a woman: Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?Woman: NoMan: Lets have lunch sometime. . . Sent by jim
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Funny Kids Joke
How did the toad die?He simply croaked!
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Marriage Joke
A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!' He says, 'Aha!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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