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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird hoodies and other funny jokes |
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Legal Humor
The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through thebrush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks theass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, 'Hey! Cut it out, alright!'The rear tiger says, 'sorry, ' and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turnsaround and cuffs the rear tiger and says, 'I said stop it!' The rear tiger says, 'sorry, ' and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, 'What is it with you, anyway?'The rear tiger replies, 'Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to getthe taste out of my mouth!'
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Law Enforcement Joke
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. 'But officer, ' the man began, 'I can explain. ''Just be quiet, ' snapped the officer. 'I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back. ''But, officer, I just wanted to say, ' 'And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!'A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, 'Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. . . He'll be in a good mood when he gets back. ''Don't count on it, ' answered the fellow in the cell. 'I'm the groom. '
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Witch Joke
1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Nothing is impossible to the person that doesn't have to do it.
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Priceless Joke
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!'The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'This one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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Zoo Joke
Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. 'Did you enjoy yourself?' asked her mother when she got home. 'Oh, yes, ' replied Fred. 'But it was funny going to a dead zoo. '
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Free Adult Joke
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No, ' he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it. ' The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?' 'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me, ' he explains. 'What's it telling you now?' she asked. 'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties. ' he said. The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!' The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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