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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird handbags and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, 'We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?'She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, 'We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?'One male parrot said to the other, 'Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!'
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. 'Does your dog bite?' 'No. ' A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. 'I thought you said your dog didn't bite!' the man says indignantly. 'That's not my dog. '
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Banana Joke
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
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Business Joke
A grocer put up a sign that read 'Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar. '
All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
'Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!'
Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, 'Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?'
'What mistake?' the grocer asked. 'Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant. '
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Political Joke
Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
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Military Joke
British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's '206's'. . . . - His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. - I would not breed from this Officer. - This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. - When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. - He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. - Technically sound, but socially impossible. - This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. - This young lady has delusions of adequacy. - When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. - This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar. - Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. - She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. - He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. - This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. - In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet. - The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship. - Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
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Father Joke
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a
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Idiot and fool Joke
Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. 'Hey, what yew got there?' asked a neighbor. 'I dunno much 'bout art, ' replied Melburn, 'but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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