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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird gifts and other funny jokes |
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Top 100 Joke
These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb. OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON - FREE COFFEE + DONUTS FREE PUPPIES. . . PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.
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Military Joke
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. 'Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ' declared one, 'that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ' 'Very good, ' conceded the other, 'but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle. ' 'What was the jingle?' asked the first. 'Oh, ' replied the other offhand, 'just our medals. '
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School Joke
A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hopedto attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked: 'Sir, can you pleasetell me where your library is at?'The man looked down his nose and replied: 'Son, I'm head of the English department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply. ''Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?'Sent by Randy
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Bath Joke
My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ? Cheese ! Cheese who ? Cheese a cute girl !
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Mental health Joke
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Hunting Joke
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, 'If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you. ' After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, 'Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ichabod.
Ichabod who?
Ichabod night out there - can I borrow your coat?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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