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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird fish stockists and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
Did you hear there is a new movie out about the Kennedys?It's called Three Funerals and a Wedding.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
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Teeth Joke
What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out? He ate the dentist.
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Father Joke
Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, 'Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life. '
From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, 'Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky
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Business Joke
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, 'T-square, do your stuff!'. T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, 'Slide Rule, do your stuff!'. Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, 'Measure, do your stuff!'. Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured ex actly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. The three men turned to the Government Worker and said, 'What can your dog do?'. The Government Worker called to his dog and said, 'Coffee Break, do your stuff!'. Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.
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Police Joke
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
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Dog Joke - 1
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, 'Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?' 'Yep, That's him, ' he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. 'That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?' 'Because, ' the owner replied, 'before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him. '
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Legal Humor
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. 'You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?' The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, 'Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?' The client looked back and said, 'I imagine that our side will win. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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