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The
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird fish fleece and other funny jokes |
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Bible Joke
A preacher, who shall we say was 'humor impaired, ' attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, 'The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!' The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, 'And that woman was my mother!' - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, 'The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woma n that was not my wife!' The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, '. . . and I can't remember who she was!'
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Job and Office Joke
'You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When. . . . . . 'You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, 'What's this?', you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, 'I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn'. Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out. You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a 'sick' day. The next morning the boss asks you, 'So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?'. You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
Why did Dick Whittington have a beard?
Because nine out often owners find that their cats prefer whiskers.
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Cow Joke
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
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Joke for Speeches
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, 'Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian. ' The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, 'So which part of Lesbia are you from?'
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Spoof Joke
A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name. 'Well, ' said the would-be cattleman, 'I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y. So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y. ''But where are all your cattle?' the friends asked. 'None survived the branding. '
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Father Joke
When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
When they had lots of sleepless knights!
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
How did you do in your tests?
I did what George Washington did!
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test
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Business Joke
Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit. Boris says to Bill, 'Bill, you know, I have a big problem. I don't know what to do about it. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I don't know which one. ''Not a big deal Boris, I'm stuck with a hundred economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision, and only one tells the truth but it's never the same one. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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