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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird emoticons and other funny jokes |
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Biologist Joke
Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck
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Statistics and Math Joke
1. They speak only the Greek language. 2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe. Where are the statisticians with names such as Smith, Brown, or Johnson?3. They are fond of all snakes and typically own as a pet a large South American snake called an ANOCOVA. 4. For perverse reasons, rather than view a matrix right side up they prefer to invert it. 5. Rather than moonlighting by holding Amway parties they earn a few extra bucks by holding pocket-protector parties. 6. They are frequently seen in their back yards on clear nights gazing through powerful amateur telescopes looking for distant star constellations called ANOVA's. 7. They are 99% confident that sleep can not be induced in an introductory statistics class by lecturing on z-scores. 8. Their idea of a scenic and exotic trip is traveling three standard deviations above the mean in a normal distribution. 9. They manifest many psychological disorders because as young statisticians many of their statistical hypotheses were rejected. 10. They express a deap-seated fear that society will someday construct tests that will enable everyone to make the same score. Without variation or individual differences the field of statistics has no real function and a statistician becomes a penniless ward of the state.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'm an imbecile and I vote
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Relationships Joke
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that theobituary for her recently deceased husband is published. Afterthe editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, 'Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'. 'Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that thereis a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, 'In that case, 'Fred Browndied: 1983 Pick-up for sale'. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
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Computer Joke
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations.
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Humor Joke
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
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Stand Up Joke
Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?Son: I don't know, because in school we learn on apples.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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