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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird contacts and other funny jokes |
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Ant Joke
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ? All sorts of antics !
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American Joke
2 blond guys were working on the street one dug a whole and the other filled it back in and so finally a bystander who had been watching them for a long time came up to the 2 blond guys and said why do u keep digging holes and the filling em back in. They said well theres usually 3 of us but the guy who puts the tree in the hole called in sick.
LOL enjoy
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Stupid Men
What's the difference between a man and a sports car?
you see alot of cute sports cars.
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Money Joke
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said 'Why did you put up such a fight?' To which the man promptly replied 'I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!'
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Miscellaneous Joke
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping. 'To the Irishman he says 'You're in charge of shovelling. 'To the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies. 'He then says 'Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile. 'So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian: 'Why didn't you sweep any of it!?'The Italian replies in a heavy accent, 'I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him. 'Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, 'Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna fin' him. 'The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells. . . !!'Supplies'!!
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Fun Funny Joke
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, 'You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?'The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. 'One day, ' he begins, 'I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. 'So I picked up the frog and it said, 'Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes. 'So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, 'You now have 3 wishes. 'I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, 'I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger. 'She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!She then asked, 'What will be your second wish?'I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, 'I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream. ' She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. 'We then made love for hours!'Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, 'You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?'I looked at her and replied, 'How about a little head?'
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. ) What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? A. ) An air mattress.
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Medical Joke
Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left reartire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another cargoes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lugnuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab whenhe hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of theinmates has been watching the whole thing. 'Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the otherthree wheels? That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garageor something. ' Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizesthe plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident. Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. 'You know, that waspretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?' The patient smiles and says, 'I'm in here because I'm crazy, notbecause I'm stupid. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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