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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird contact lens and other funny jokes |
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Bird Joke
Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !
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Naughty Joke
Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense. . . . You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, 'I'm fantastic in bed. ' That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's fantastic in bed. ' That's Advertising. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm fantastic in bed. ' That's Telemarketing. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm fantastic in bed. ' That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed. ' That's Brand Recognition.
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Ethnical Joke
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, 'I wouldn't eat that if I were you. ' 'Why not?' 'I took one bite and went blind for half a minute. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Deep down, divers care.
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Joke for Kids
The Polish Medical Dictionary: Anti-Body - against everyone Artery - study of paintings Bandages - The Rolling Stones Bacteria - what to do when treatment fails Botulism - tendency to make mistakes Bowel - letters lik A E I O or U Caesarean Section - a district in Rome Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing Cat Scan - searching for ones lost kitty Cauterize - made eye contact with her Colic - sheep dog Coma - punctuation mark Congenital - friendly Cortisone - the local courthouse D & C - where Washington is Dilate - to live long Enema - not a friend Enteritis - a penchant for burglary ER - the things on your head that you hear with Fester - quicker Fibrillate - to tell lies Genes - blue denim slacks Genital - non-Jewish Hangnail - coat hook Hemorrhoid - a male From outer space Herpes - what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones - what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid ICU - peek-a-boo Impotent - distinguished, well known Inpatient - tired of waiting Labor Pain - hurt at work Medical Staff - a doctor's cane Minor Operation - coal digging Morbid - a higher bid Nitrate - cheaper than the Day Rate Node - was aware of Organ transplant - what you do to your piana when you move Organic - organ repairman Outpatient - a person who has fainted Paralyze - two far-fetched stories Pathological - a reasonable way to go Pharmacist - person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Plaster cast - the drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert Post-Operative - a letter carrier Protein - in favor of young people Recovery Room - place to upholster furniture Rectum - what happened to the Corvette Red blood count - Dracula Rheumatic - amorous Saline - where you go on your boyfriend's boat Secretion - hiding something Surgery - a reason to get an uninterruptible power supply Sterile solution - not using the elevator during a fire Tablet - a small table Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport Tibia - country in North Africa Triple bypass - better than a quarterback sneak Tumor - an extra pair Urine - opposite of 'You're Out' Varicose - nearby Vein - conceited
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bless ! Bless who ? I didn't sneeze !
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Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses. Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
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Weird Women Joke
Some beauty parlors do a great job. One young man followed a young womanfor twenty blocks. Then he found outit was his grandmother.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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