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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird christmas gifts and other funny jokes |
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Men Joke
A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, 'I'm going to acostume party, I want to go as Adam. ' The girl brings outa fig leaf. He says, 'Not big enough. 'She brings out a bigger one. He says, 'Still not big enough. 'She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, 'Still not big enough. 'She says, 'Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over yourshoulder and go as a gasoline pump?'
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Clean Joke
Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.
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Ethnic Humor
A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ('Jump!'). In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: 'Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly. ' So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: 'Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly. ' Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: 'Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly. ' Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: 'Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing'
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School Joke
Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone !
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Irish Joke
A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up : 'You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose. ''I'm sorry sir, I. . . ''Not you, ' says the Irishman, 'I'm talking to that little fella on your knee. '
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Camping Joke
A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !!Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him. 'Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!' the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. i3galr3pr0ducton0fa!h!a!j0k3s'Well, son', said the Game Warden, ' You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks !! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!''Yes Sir', replied the young feller, ' But my friend back there, well, he don't have one'. . .
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Business Joke
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office. As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitating, he begins to dictated a letter. . . 'And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
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Joke Online
The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars. 'Come to bed, darling, ' she whispered after some time had passed. 'Not likely, ' replied the blonde groom, 'my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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