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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird anniversary gift and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 1
How can you tell a dog from a tomato? The tomato is red.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
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Men Joke
If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker. If he is bald at the back, he is sexy. If he is bald from front to back - he thinks he is sexy.
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Top 100 Joke
One of the reasons that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce is that those men who promised that they'd die for their woman just don't come through.
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Sad Joke
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $'20
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Fun Funny Joke
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, 'I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!'So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. 'Henry', he said, 'I'm counting on you to do your stuff. ' And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house. Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, 'Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself. ' But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry. The farmer walked up to Henry saying, 'Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy. ''Shhhhh, ' Henry whispered, 'The buzzard is getting closer. '
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Snowman Joke
Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire? A Snowman.
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Spiked Humor
On a ski lift in Taos, NM: 'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted. ' Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): 'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice' A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let's see who can go downhill the fastest. Sign in King's Canyon in California. 'Slow Parking Ahead' A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!' Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you. Seen in a health food store. 'Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot' 'Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense. ' I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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