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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of weird al poodle hat and other funny jokes |
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Bed Joke
How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.
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Joke for Holidays
HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnEPage yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom. 'Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Reply to everything someone says with, 'That's what you think. 'Dont use any punctuation in your emailsAsk people what sex they are. When they answer, say 'are you sure'?Stand in front of your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
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Ethnical Joke
A newfie wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the newfie to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The newfie understood and was ready. The time came to have the newfie jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The newfie proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the newfie. The newfie seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, 'So you wanna race, eh?'
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Pig Joke
What did the fat pig say when the farmer dumped corn mash into the trough? 'I'm afraid That's all going to waist. '
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Funny Famous Joke
A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar. The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies', I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass'. The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. this happens twice more. A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the mens room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks. The barman gets the drinks and says, 'it's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as the jackass. I just had to tell you because I dont think it's very fair for him to call you that'. The woman turns to him and smiles and says. . . 'Oh, dont worry, it's ok - heaw, heaw, he always calls me that'!
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Dirty Joke
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
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Cat Joke
What is a cat's favourite movie? 'The Sound of Mewsic. '
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Computer Joke
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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