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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of wedding toast jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. 'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
What if the whole world FARTED at the same time?
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Blonde Joke - 1
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. 'Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!' the former blonde asked.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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Doctor Joke
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, 'What's the matter?'
He said, 'I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right. ''
'She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?'
'She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!'
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Militant Femminist Barbie . . . with an assault rifle
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History Joke
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
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Kids Puns
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery 'down below' to restore herself to her former youthful glory. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there. Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed. Who are these from ?' she asked the nurse, 'They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them. ''Well' said the nurse, 'The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks. ''Ahhh, thats really nice' said Lucy. 'The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!''Brilliant!' said Lucy. 'And the third?''Thats from Eric in the burns unit' said the nurse. 'He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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