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The
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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of wedding speech one liners and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If We All Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
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Kids Puns
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
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Top 100 Joke
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says 'Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now. 'The mexican man pleads with them, 'No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!'The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says 'Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence'. The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, 'The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence. 'The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, 'Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, . . . I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?'
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Christmas Joke - 1
Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees! Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'.
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Joke for Speeches
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, 'Pull over!' at the top of his lungs. 'No!' the blonde yelled back, 'Scarf!'
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Salesmen Joke
Policeman: Why didn't you check your speedometer? Driver: It broke when I hit 100.
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Comedian Joke
An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an 'Escalator temporarily out of order' sign, just 'Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. '-Mitch Hedberg
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Joke for Halloween
A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night. The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, 'Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!'The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a 'little tap' could scare him so much. The driver, after gathering himself together replied, 'Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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