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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of wedding mc joke book and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man?
A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms.
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Funny Men Joke
An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Dr. to see what the DR had to say about the wife being pregnant. The DR. said let me tell you a story about this 82 year old man I know, This man went hunting every hunting season his whole life, never missed an event. One year he got ready to go hunting and grabbed an umbrella instead of his gun. He got to the beaver pond and saw a bever pulled up the umbrella and said pow pow and the beaver fell over dead. The Dr. asked the 82 year old patient what he thought happened to the beaver and the patient said I think someone else shot the beaver.
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War Joke
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. 'Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?' The Marine replied, 'I got my four Sir. '
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How do you sink an Irish submarine? A: Knock on the hatch.
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Funny Famous Joke
The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry. 'No fancy stuff, Doctor, ' he ordered, 'No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with. ' 'I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you, ' said the dentist admiringly. 'Now, which tooth is it?' Mr. Smith turned to his wife. . 'Show him, honey. '
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Christmas Joke - 1
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure. That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly. 'Why are you crying?' the father asked. 'Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken. ' answered the pessimist twin. Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. 'What are you so happy about?' he asked. To which his optimist twin replied, 'There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!'
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Dog Joke - 2
What dog would you want on your American football team?
A golden receiver!
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Cannibal Joke
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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