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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of wedding card jokes and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
A husband and wife enter a dentist`s office. The Wife says, 'I want atooth pulled. I don`t want gas or novocain because I`m in a terriblehurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. ''You`re a brave woman, ' says the dentist, 'Now, show me which tooth itis. 'The wife turns to her husband and says 'Open your mouth and show thedentist which tooth it is, dear. '
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Miscellaneous Joke
Your Momma is so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
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Situation Joke
The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop and says, 'About 2 hours. ' The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, 'About 2 hours. ' The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop and says, 'About an hour and a half. ' The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, 'Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. ' In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, 'Bill, where did he go when he left here?' Bill looked up and said, 'To your house. '
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School Joke
Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass?A Mechanic.
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Practical Joke
Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs If there's a war you can surrender really early You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries You can be ugly and still become a famous film star Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride People think you're a great lover even when you're not
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Friendship Joke
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, 'I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. ''Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!' she screamed. 'Funny, ' he muttered, 'you even sound exactly like her. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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