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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of very very funny games and other funny jokes |
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Sad Joke
'You used to hold my hand years ago when we were courting, ' she said as they were side by side in bed. He reached over, took her hand and held it. 'Then you used to kiss me, ' she purred. He turned over, gave her a slight kiss and then rolled over again to sleep. 'After that, you used to bite my neck. ' With that the husband got up. 'Where are you going?' she asked. 'To get my teeth, ' he grumbled.
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Strange Humor
Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her. 'Hi, Joe', she said. 'I haven't seen you in a long time. 'Joe was puzzled. 'Charlie, is that you?' What are you doing dressed up like a woman?''Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman. 'Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, 'Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in. ''Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part. 'Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach. 'Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful. ''Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the worst part. ''I don't believe it, Charlie. What could possibly be worse than that?''The final operation was the worst. That was when they did a craniotomy and took out half of my brain!'
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Doctor Joke
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered. . . 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive. '
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Dirty Joke
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!
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Cat Joke
What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfect meal !
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Telephone Joke
Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?
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Bible Joke
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Nearthe cash register he saw a display of caps with 'WWJD'printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letterscould mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for 'What Would JesusDo', and was meant to inspire people to not make rashdecisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in thesame situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, 'Well, I'm damnsure Jesus wouldn't pay $17. 95 for one of these caps. '
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Aviation Joke
Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: 'Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy. ' Hillary: 'Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy. ' Al: 'Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy. ' Tipper: 'Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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