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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of very rude jokes and other funny jokes |
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Kids School Joke
What did the maggot say to another?What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!
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Irish Joke
It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler . . . 'Seamus . . . Seamus . . . the wind is cutt'n me chest out!' 'Well, Paddy my lad, ' said Seamus, 'why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back . . . that'll block the wind for you. ' So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again. After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their route. When after a short time he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground. 'T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?' Seamus hailed to the farmers. 'Well, ' said one of the farmers, ' he was alright when we found him here . . but since we turned his head back to front . . he hasn't said a word since!'
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Weirdest Joke
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?They have everything he has, except for talent, money, and looks.
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Salesmen Joke
Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.
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Waiter Joke
Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.
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Weirdest Joke
Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. Madonna All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. Henry Youngman To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'. Rita Rudner This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man. ' I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?' Judy Tenuta Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. Jean Kerr Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. Tim Allen I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags. Gwyneth Paltrow
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Doctor Joke
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
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Bible Joke
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, 'You are really a country hick, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!' The old rancher replied, 'Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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