|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of very funny movies and other funny jokes |
|
Joke of the Day
A guy walked into a bar and said 'Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender. ' But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up. The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn't pay. Then the next day, the guy said 'Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!' The bartender said 'Why?' The guy replyed 'You're violent when you're drunk!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Old Age Joke
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, 'Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years. '
'Yeah,' she replied, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. '
'I know,' the old man said, 'We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago. '
'Well,' Granny snickered, 'What do you say. . . should we get naked?'
Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago. '
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!
= = = = = = = = = =
Government Humor
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: 'Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
= = = = = = = = = =
Pig Joke
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? A pig tail!
= = = = = = = = = =
Religion Joke
Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, 'Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!' The second one says, 'This one does!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Gender Joke
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth. Why do women have smaller feet than men ? So they can stand closer to the sink How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with 'A man once told me. . . . ' How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. . . there's a clock on the oven! I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name. . . ' If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course. . . at least he'll shut up after you let him in! One golfer tells another: 'Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!' The other replies: 'GREAT trade!' What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?' and I said, 'Dust!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Music Joke
Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager.
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Halloween
The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid. The fairy godmother says, 'I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball. . . on two conditions!''Anything, ' says Cinderella, 'anything!''Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2:00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin, ' says the fairy godmother. So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2:00AM, 3:'00
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
