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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of very funny jokes for kids and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of the NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he should go into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would sometimes watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just for fun.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: ?Justice prevailed. ?The senior partner replied in haste, ?Appeal immediately. ?
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Men Joke
Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel.
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Bizarre Joke
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August '1
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At Work Joke
A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, 'What's wrong with the coworker telling you your hair smells nice?'The woman replies, 'He's a midget. '
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Simple Joke
Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. Exercise________ Calories burned per hourBeating around the bush -75Jumping to conclusions - 100Climbing the walls - 150Swallowing your pride - 50Passing the buck - 25Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) - 50-300Dragging your heels - 100Pushing your luck - 250Making mountains out of molehills - 500Hitting the nail on the head - 50Wading through paperwork - 300Bending over backwards - 75Jumping on the bandwagon - 200Balancing the books - 25Running around in circles - 350Eating crow - 225Tooting your own horn - 25Climbing the ladder of success - 750Pulling out the stops - 75Adding fuel to the fire - 160Wrapping it up at the day's end - 12To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:Opening a can of worms - 50Putting your foot in your mouth - 300Starting the ball rolling - 90Going over the edge - 25Picking up the pieces after - 350
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Spiked Humor
In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait. 'On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts. 'Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak. 'In a non-smoking area, 'If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. 'On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push. 'On a front door, 'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. 'At an optometrist's office, 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. 'On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff. 'On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs. 'On a butcher's window, 'You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat. 'On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. 'At a car dealership, 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment. 'Outside a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming. 'In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here. 'On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left. 'In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'At the electric company, 'We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. 'In a Beauty Shop, 'Dye now!'In a Beauty Shop, 'We curl up and Dye for you. 'On the side of a garbage truck, 'We've got what it takes to take what you've got. ' (Burglars please copy. )In a restaurant window, 'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up. 'Inside a bowling alley, 'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. 'In a cafeteria, 'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
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Animal World
What does an elephant keep up its trunk?A Yard 'n' half o' snot!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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