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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of ur muma jokes and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ? A bramble bee !
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Village Idiot Joke
A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the . How do you tell them apart? The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.
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Marriage Joke
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other.
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said:
'Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am. '
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:
'Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!'
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Car and train Joke
An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, 'Oy vey! What a wreck!' The priest asks him, 'Are you all right, Rabbi?' The Rabbi responds, 'Just a little shaken. ' The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, 'Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves. ' The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, 'Well, what are we going to tell the police?' 'Well, ' the priest says, 'I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'. '
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Joke for Dummies
IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great, But. . . there are problems that can't wait!Now Benton's fine, and Carter too, But Ross and Susan just won't do!Now who do you think that we should hire, Since both of them today I'll fire?Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see. . . Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree. . . Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt. . . But the paramedics just pulled up. Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?Shep: This little boy has just been shot!His pulse is faint, his breath is weak. We did all we could to stop the leak. Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip. . . Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair, So I shoved her--lightly--down some stairs. Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!Doug and Susan! Come with me!Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?We've got some more; one, two, and three. Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be?Explain it, tell it all to me!Riley: Well, Shep was driving. Really fast. A light turned red. Shep hit the gas. We hit a car, it hit two more. Soon the total rose by four. Another bang! Another crash!But we couldn't stay, we had to dash!We grabbed these three but I am sure, The injured totaled sixty score!Carter: These people really are a mess!Their injuries I cannot guess!It makes me sick, my knees are weak, A toilet I must soon go seek. . . Benton: It's ok Carter! Stay on your toes!It doesn't get worse than this you know!To Trauma four let's take these three. You can do it, come with me!Green: Ok, let's get this boy on the table. To save his life if we are able!Haleh: Dr. Green! This boy is cyanotic!I can't find a pulse. . . oh, wait I've got it!But it is weak! Oh, woe is us!Doug: Give him saline! IV push!CBC, chem '7
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Sports Humor
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recenttournament victories. After about an hour, the managercame out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because, ' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boastingin an open foyer. '
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Blonde Joke - 1
Do you realize what I am?A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, 'Don't you know I'm Polish?''Oh, I'm sorry, ' the blonde apologizes, 'do you want me to start over and talk slower?'
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Dumb People Joke
John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, 'I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates. ' A few days later, Judy went to John and said, 'You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?' 'I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure, ' replied John. John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: 'Dear Mom, While I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'didn't' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing. Love, Your son. ' Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read: 'Dear John, While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I'm not saying you 'don't' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed. Love, Mom. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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