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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of txt jokes and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
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Funny Kids Joke
What is the insect's favorite game?Cricket!
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Law Enforcement Joke
What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.
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School Joke
Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze?
Pupil: Hot water!
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days?
Pupil: All of them!
Why was the head teacher worried?
Because there were so many rulers in the school!
Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be?
Pupil: Stale!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
Teacher: What is 'can't' short for?
Pupil: Can not miss.
Teacher: and what is 'don't' short for?
Pupil: Doughnut!
Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is?
Pupil: Lassie!
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!
Teacher: Why are you standing on your head?
Pupil: I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir!
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Werewolf Barbie . . . normal doll, except under a full moon
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Baby Joke
What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn? Where's Pop Corn?
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Job and Office Joke
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
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Funny College Joke
'Darling, ' she whispered after they had finished making love, 'Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?'He considered this for a moment, and then replied, 'I think so. I've always been especially fond of married women. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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