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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of turkey day jokes and other funny jokes |
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Miscellaneous Joke
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says 'Here you go' and goes to leave when the forester says 'Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?' St. Peter says: 'Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before. '
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Science Joke
A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied'I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers. '
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Book title Joke
The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak
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Relationships Joke
A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. 'It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world, ' she boasted. 'The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz. ''What a diamond!''How lucky you are!''Wait, wait, nothing in life is all mazel ', said the diamonded lady, 'Unfortunately, with this famous Lipshitz diamond you must take the famous Lipshitz curse!'The ladies buzzed and asked, 'And what's the Lipshitz curse?''Lipshitz, ' sighed the lady.
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A. 'Thanks for the refill!'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
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Love and Marriage Joke
When her recently diseased husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the greater part of his fortune to another woman.
Furious, she raised to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone.
“Sorry, lady,” said the stonecutter. “I inscribed “Rest in peace” on your orders. I can’t change it now. ”
“Very well,” she said grimly. “Just add ‘Until We Meet Again. ’”
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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