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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of treadmill jokes and other funny jokes |
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Fishing Joke
Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: 'Any luck?' 'Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday, ' he boasts. 'Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?' asks the stranger. 'Nope. ' 'Well, meet the new game warden. ' 'Oh, ' gulped the fisherman. 'Well, do you know who I am?' 'Nope. ' 'Meet the biggest liar in the state!'
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Dumb Men Joke
IDEAL DATEAt 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in 25 'Split the check before we go back to my place' 35 'Just come over. ' 48 'Just come over and cook. ' 66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
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Clean Humor
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained. In prison you get your own room. At work you have to share. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners. In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars. In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of. In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.
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Top 100 Joke
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
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Funny Joke Online
Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot. As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, 'Okay, everybody, we're going to rape all the men and rob all the women!'Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, 'ah, Jessie, don't you mean we're going to rob all the men and rape all the women?'With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says. . . 'Listen, you heard Jessie. . . he's the boss!'
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Telephone Joke
What kind of music do phones love to hear? A symphony
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Joke for Holidays
A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead. Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door. The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a meow, walked back into the cage and went back to sleep. The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, 'I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do. Resigned, the man signed and said, 'Thanks for trying. How much do I owe you?''Three-hundred fifty dollars, ' the doctor replied. 'Thr . . . thr . . . three-hundred fif-fif-fifty bucks to tell me my dog is dead!' the man stammered. 'Well, it was only $50 for the office visit. The other $300 is for the CAT scan. '
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Animal World
What does a lion call a antelope?Fast food. Sent by jessica
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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