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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of transformers fun and games and other funny jokes |
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Food Joke
What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep.
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Short Stupid Joke
Marriage for women has its ups and downs. How?The toilet seat is up and the hubby's sex interest is down.
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Humorous Joke
Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes, it is a quartet. - How many are you? - We are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No, why do you ask?
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Accountant Joke
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, 'Want to hear an accountant joke?' The guy next to him replies, 'Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2' tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?' The first guy says, 'No, I don't want to have to explain it two times. '
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Miscellaneous Joke
A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. Whilestanding in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears thiswhistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It wasonly a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internalinjuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's houseattending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hearsthe teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closetand proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizablelump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, 'Why'd you ruin my goodtea kettle?'The desert man replies, 'Man, you gotta kill these things when they'resmall. '
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Fishing Joke
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, 'My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars. ' The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, 'Okay, where's my hundred dollars?' The man said, 'Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law. ' The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, 'Just my luck. How much do I owe you?'
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Food Joke
Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!
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Cow Joke
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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