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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of topical jokes uk and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, 'Someone should go and tell his wife. 'Bill says, 'OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it. ' 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, 'Where did you get that, Bill?' 'Steve`s wife gave it to me. ''That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?'Bill says, 'Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow. `'She said, '`No, I`m not a widow. 'And I said, 'Wanna bet me a six-pack?'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there
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Bumper Stickers - 1
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. . [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
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Bar Joke - 1
A neutron walks into a bar. 'I'd like a beer' he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
'How much will that be?' asks the neutron.
'For you?' replies the bartender, 'no charge'
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Humor Joke
Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid? He was totally bow-gus!
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Poker and Gambling Joke
'I want you to help me stop my son gambling,' an anxious father said to his boy's principal. 'I don't know where he gets it from but it's bet, bet, bet. '
'Leave it to me,' said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy's father. 'I think I've cured him,' he said.
'How?'
'Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, 'I bet that's a false beard. '
'How much?' I said, and he said '$5 '
'What happened?' asked the father.
'Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson. '
'No, it won't,' said the father. 'He bet me $10 this morning that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!'
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Funny College Joke
yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Denny's resturants are also open 24 hours a day. When they decided to close last Christmas (first time ever), they realized that a lot of doors did not have locks, most of those that did have locks, no one knew where to find the keys!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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