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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of toddler fun and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
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Science Joke
Handy guide to modern science:If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
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Business Joke
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy. Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents. . 'The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist. ' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, 'We got it! We got it!' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?A: Too early to say. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What do economists and computers have in common?A: You need to punch information into both of them. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An 'acceptable' level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why did the market economist cross the road? A: To reach the consensus forecast. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates? A: Deflator mouse --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends on the wage rate. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None - the market has already discounted the change. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven plus or minus ten. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's? A: The economist is the one with the calculator. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why did God create economists?A: In order to make weather forecasters look good. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: What does an economist do?A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, 'How's your wife?'The other responds, 'Relative to what?'--------------------------------------------------------------------------------To an economist, real life is a special case. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------When an economist says the evidence is 'mixed, ' he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion. ' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why has astrology been invented?A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
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Simple Joke
A man and a woman are in an elevator. All of a sudden the elevator stops and the fire alarm goes off. The woman starts to have a break down and say to the man, 'I wish I could feel like a woman one last time. 'The man automatically rips his shirt off throws it to the floor and says, 'now fold it'!
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Science Joke
4 gay guys walk into a bar. There is only 1 4 legged stool left, how do they sit???They turn it upsidedown. Sent by GC
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I've upped my standards, now up yours!
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Children Joke
Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts, Grandma? Grandma: Yes, I do. Mary: Well, you can have mine.
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Blonde Joke - 2
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: 'I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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