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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of tiverton comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Religious Joke
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, 'Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, 'Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away. ' The third said, 'I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. . . Haven't seen one back since!'
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Just for Laughs Joke
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. 'You can't get out of your room?' the captain asked, 'Why not?' The stewardess replied: 'There are only three doors in here, ' she sobbed, 'one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!'
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Love and Marriage Joke
Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, 'Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?' He replied, 'Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box. ' Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times. 'But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?' she asked. 'Well, every time I got a dozen, I sold it. '
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with ablonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some foodto replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milkand right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still prettyhot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blondewalks in and says, 'Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those. '
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Dirty Joke
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and McDonald's? A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
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Computer Joke
A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed. About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed. She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. 'Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?' the man asked. 'Because,' replied the blonde, 'my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!'
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Money Joke
Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator? He liked cold cash.
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Animal World
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the antwakes up and the elephant is dead. 'Damn', says the ant, 'one nightof passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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