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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of timeout comedy and other funny jokes |
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Statistics and Math Joke
'Psst, c'mere, ' said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed. 'What are you selling?' I asked. 'Geometrical algebra drugs. ''Huh!?''Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers. . . ''Stop right there, ' I interrupted. 'I've never heard of inside-outers. ''Oh, man, you'll love 'em. Makes you feel like M. C. ever-lovin' Escher on a particularly weird day. ''Go on. . . ''OK, your inside-outers, your arbitrary bilinear mappers, and here, heh, here are the best ones, ' he said, pulling out a large clear bottle of orange pills. 'What are those, then?' I asked. 'Givens transformers. They'll rotate you about more planes than you even knew existed. ''Sounds gross. What about those bilinear mappers?''There's a whole variety of them. Here's one you'll love -- they call it 'One Over Z' on the street. Take one of these little bad boys and you'll be on speaking terms with the Point at Infinity. '
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees? The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.
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Insect Joke
Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !
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Funny Kids Joke
Which animals were the last to get on Noah's Ark?
The elephants. They were busy packing their trunks.
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Pig Joke
Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig? He knows a little ham goes a long way.
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Baby Joke
What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.
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Dog Joke - 2
What happened when the shaggy dog swallowed a teaspoon? He wasn't able to stir.
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Strange Humor
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for theevening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go atit. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat theperformance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. Whenfinished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes adeep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumpsback into bed with the hooker and starts again. The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. Duringthe fifth encore, she decides to try it herself. So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes adeep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed. . . and finds fourChinese men.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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