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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of tickles joke shop and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other's shadow.
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Elephant Joke
What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.
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Ethnic Humor
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. 'What part?' the mother asked. 'I play a Jewish husband, ' the boy replied. 'Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!'
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Top 100 Joke
These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. WHIRLPOOL BUILT IN OVEN -- FROST FREE! FROZEN SOFT + GENTLE BATH TISSUE - 4 ROLLS 99 CENTS AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100 TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9. 75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. NOTICE: TO PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE. PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VINCINITY ARE DEAD. THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE SONGS OF THE '50s: INCLUDING '16 TONS' BY TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD EXERCISE EQUIPMENT QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS + BOX SPRING - $175. OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER + DRYER - $300. FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. . . LOOKS LIKE A RAT. . . BEEN OUT AWHILE. . . BETTER BE A REWARD.
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Religious Joke
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, 'What's a four -letter word ending in 'unt' which means 'woman'? The bishop said, 'Did you try 'aunt'? The Pope said, 'Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?'
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Various animal Joke
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
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Simple Joke
The FBI puts an Ad in the newspaper, 'Wanted FBI agents. ' After sorting through all the applicants they narrow it down to three. They bring the first in for an interview and the interviewing agent says to the gentleman, 'We are the FBI, we solemnly do the duty of the country and always put the country before ourselves. Anything asked of us, we must do. Whether we like it or not. All our agents must be totally loyal. ' The guy responds that he always wanted to be an FBI agent and it has been his dream. The agent then pulls out a gun and puts it on the table. 'Please, go into the next room where your wife is and shoot her. 'The gentleman gets a repulsed look upon his face. 'I can't do that. She is my wife and I love her with all my heart!'The agent than says that he just isn't FBI material, but thanks him for coming down. They then bring in the second man. The agent goes over the speel of loyalty for the country above all else. 'I always wanted to be an agent, my lifelong goal it was ever since I was a school boy, ' he replies. The agent than proceeds to pull out the gun and place it on the table. 'Please, go into the next room and shoot your wife, ' FBI agent says, calmly. The man than replies, 'I can't do that, although we have our problems, I can't kill her. She is the mother of my three kids. . . she's just too important. 'The agent offers his respect, but with regret tells him that he just isn't FBI material. Finally, the third gentleman is brought in. They go over the speel and the agent puts the gun on the table and asks him to go shoot his wife. The man nods, takes the gun and enters the next room. Five or six shots are heard and then are proceeded by sounds of things slamming into the wall, tables splintering and shattering, muffled screams and metal bending. The FBI agent runs to the room with astonishment and confusion on his face. 'What did you do?'The man calmly replies, 'The gun was full of blanks, so I had to beat her to death with a chair!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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