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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of the funny side of covent garden and other funny jokes |
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Ghost Joke
How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, 'I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through. ' He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, 'I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them. ' The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, 'Small World!'
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Birthday Joke
A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After being switched from office to office, a voice finally said, 'Hello. ' 'Are you the game warden?' she asked. 'Yes. ' 'Finally Ah've got the right person!' she said. 'Could yaw'l gimme some help with my son's birthday party?'
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School Joke
Father: Well Son, how are your exam results ? Son: They're under water Father: What do you mean ? Son: Below 'C' level !
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Letter Joke
What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing. It just shuts up.
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Joke for Holidays
There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light districtuntil he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: 'TheHooker With Three Breasts. . . '. The man get's just a littleinterested and thinks 'well. . . that could be a once in a lifetimeexperience'. So he goes in and walks up to the man behind thecounter. 'I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts' hesays. 'Are you sure you can afford that. . . It'll cost you a thousanddollars' the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's hiswallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to alittle room in the back of the house and when he opens the room. . . there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it. . . three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life. The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking ofthe night before and the time he had, he goes in and pays the pimpanother thousand dollars. Again, he goes up three stairs to thatlittle dark room in the back of the house. And as the day before, she lies there waiting. But, as he walks up to the hooker, he sees that something iswrong. . . 'Hey! You had three breasts yesterday. . . ' he says afterwhich she smiles and says 'What did you expect honey. . . you can onlysuck out a boil like that once!'.
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Funny Kids Joke
What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!
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Political Joke
Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depends on how many were photographed.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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