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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of the boat show comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Fun Funny Joke
There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church. The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said, '. . . But they'll steal my bike. 'The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside. The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it. . . 'In the name of the Father, The Son. . . Amen'The priest said, 'What about the Holy Spirit?'The boy replied, 'Its outside taking care of my bike!'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?All you can eat for under a buck.
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Just for Laughs Joke
A not so bright guy got a job in a factory and 'the boys' soon befriended him. Just before lunch one day a fellow worker came up to him and said, 'You notice how the boss has been leaving work early for lunch and comes back late the past few weeks? Well, I've been going home and spending time with my wife. You oughta try it. 'So our young friend snuck home, but as he entered his apartment, he could hear his wife and a man in his bedroom. Sneaking a peak into his bedroom, he caught his wife, with his BOSS in bed. Turning around, he quietly left the apartment and returned to work before his boss got back. The next day, after the boss left, his friend nudged him and said, 'I guess thats my cue! You gonna sneak home again today?'To which our young friend replied, 'Nah, I better not! I almost got caught yesterday!'
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Business Joke
Employer: 'In this job we need someone who is responsible. 'Applicant: 'I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible. '
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Naughty Joke
Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant? -She blew them both. . .
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Irish Joke
Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other. 'It's windy, ' said one. 'No, it's Thursday, ' said the next. 'So am I, ' said the third. 'Let's go and have a drink!'
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Village Idiot Joke
E-MAIL COMMANDMENTS Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line. Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest. Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it. Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message. Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar. Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS. Thou shalt not forward any chain letter. Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work. Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose. When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn. And, the Golden Rule of email: That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.
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Satire Joke
You know a man's lying if his lips are moving. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse. Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be let out alone. Never sleep with a man who's named his willy. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. If you wanted a committed man look in a mental hospital. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books. Boring men are like snot - they get up your nose. Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him. If he asks you if your faking it tell him no, your just practicing. Sadly, all men are created equal. There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men - strong, caring, loving - they'd be wrong - but you could still use them.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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